We need to Pause, Assess, & Reflect
As we emerge from the dust and difficulty of 2020 it’s tempting to take all that was behind us, throw it in a mental box, and chuck it up on a shelf to be forgotten. “Well, that was a disaster,” we think to ourselves. "Better to look ahead to better days rather than reflect on the hard times behind us.” But in doing that, moving forward without reflection, we lose a valuable opportunity to learn from our experiences and take the best of what we’ve learned and carry it forward. Not only that, if the first month of 2021 has taught us anything, it’s that the crisis we find ourselves in is not over. Make no mistake about it - we are still in crisis. Our world is in crisis, our country is in crisis, our programs, ministries and churches are in crisis. As leaders who are called to lead in a time in crisis, it is impossible to come out of this unchanged. This crisis will either break us and we will crash and burn, probably taking others with us, or we will come out the other end stronger and wiser, if not a little battle scarred.
The challenge is how, in this fast paced world where there is always more to do, more to read, and more to accomplish, do we find the time to pause, reflect on the past, and assess where we are today. It feels impossible. To stop scrolling, to stop moving, or to stop looking ahead makes us fear we will be left behind. But we must. We must prioritize, and even schedule if necessary, a moment to rest and breath deeply. To take a moment to ask ourselves three key questions:
ONE: “How am I?” - Is my heart beating fast? Is my blood pressure high? Is my mind racing? Am I leading and acting out of confidence and health or reactionary fear and self protection? How am I sleeping? Eating? Am I taking care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually? Take a moment to do an honest self assessment of where you are today. If something isn’t where it should be, what can you do to get back to health? We need to take care of ourselves if we desire to take care of others.
TWO: “What can I learn from the past?” - I love this quote by John Dewey, “We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.” Sure, 2020 was a dumpster fire of a year. As a leader, you probably did and said things you regret. Things probably didn’t go as planned, if they happened at all. Your numbers probably tanked and your team may have disintegrated before your very eyes. But there are things to learn here. Ask yourself what, knowing what you know now, would you have done differently? What things do you want to leave behind in 2020, whether they be tangible processes or systems, or intangible attitudes or perspectives? And even in the hardship, where were your wins? Where did God show up? How did beauty arise out of the ashes of 2020? Look hard. Think hard. Even in the midst of the worst year ever, great things still happened, God was still on the move. Take a moment to find Him in your story and think about how you can carry those lessons and blessings into 2021.
THREE: “How will I choose to define success in 2021?” - If you’re still measuring your success using the same measures you used in 2019 or early 2020, just stop. Last year was a totally different ballgame. 2021 has new rules, new players, new everything. Let’s take a moment to think about if our measures of success are really accurate anymore. For MOPS groups, I challenge you to throw attendance counts out the window. While they aren’t useless, they aren’t measuring what matters the most this year. Instead I invite you to measure your success based on the number of PECs (Personal Emotional Connections) happening in your group, on your team, and between individuals. A PEC is a meaningful conversation, an authentic moment of connection, a relationship bridge between two or more people. You know when you’ve had one because they warm your soul. They are what everyone is craving right now. Reorienting how you measure success allows you to walk into a room that last year had 70 people in it but this year has only 15, and instead of saying to yourself “Where are the other 55? I’m a failure,” you say “My goal is to have three authentic, meaningful connections with people in the next two hours. That is success.” If we do that, our relationship core is strengthened. The trials and loneliness of this season fades away. And suddenly we begin to see where God is moving and love is healing us again.
If we take the time to pause, self-assess, and reflect, we can recenter ourselves and gain renewed clarity about where God is leading us in 2021. We can move boldly with the wisdom we have gained from reflecting on the past. And we can have confidence knowing that our future will be built on the relationship foundation strengthened in this difficult time. When it’s all over and we get back to “normal,” if we stick with it and keep stepping up, even when it’s hard, we will be the wise, strong, experienced leaders others will look to for advice. We will have the scars to prove we fought hard and had to tangle with some tough situations, but the fact that we are still standing proves we never lost faith.
