Saying Yes to Difficult People

This piece first appeared in the MOPS Connections email on Sept. 29, 2023

Working with her felt like death by a thousand cuts. She was bossy. She was tactless. She did everything the opposite way I would do it. And yet, we had both raised our hands to serve on the same team, so here we were, sitting at my kitchen table, attempting to hammer out the details of an upcoming event.

I’d prepared for this meeting like a prize-fighter, ready to do battle and “win” against this difficult person. But as we settled into our seats, I was reminded of the advice a wise friend had given me earlier in the week when I expressed my dread about working with this Negative Nellie. “You can’t change who they are, but you can change yourself to be more like Christ.” In response, I told her I was ready to toss tables like Jesus in the temple, but she reminded me that Jesus often responded to difficult people with extreme humility, compassion and patience - none of which are my strengths, by the way.
 

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6 

So, I took a deep breath and asked God to soften my heart, to help me put aside my ego and “my way is the best way” mindset. I asked him to help me assume goodwill and remind me that no matter our different perspectives, this woman and I were on the same team. We would never become best friends, but God used my time with this “difficult” woman to make me more like him and, in turn, a better leader, mom, wife and friend. God loves us too much to let us stay the same person year after year. He uses experiences and other people to challenge and refine us into someone who thinks, acts and loves more like him. So, when you face that difficult person, take a deep breath, Say Yes, and accept God’s invitation to grow more like him.