This is the year to throw out the old playbook

The traditional women’s ministry model is simple: host an in-person, weekday meeting where women enjoy delightful company, delicious food, and affordable childcare while listening to an inspiring speaker. Follow with challenging conversation and maybe something cute to take home. Simple, straight forward, and historically, relatively effective. Bonds were built, faith was strengthened.   Yet over the last decade or so, rumblings of trouble, like the early tremors before a volcano blast, began.  When it came to MOPS, a women’s ministry specifically for mothers, the same tremors reverberated under the surface. Where did working moms fit into this model? What about moms with special needs children or moms with special needs themselves? What about single moms, divorced moms or widowed moms? Where were all the moms of color, low income moms, atheist or gay moms? We say our church is open to all. We say MOPS is for all moms. But when we look around, not everyone is there. Not even close. 

One of the blessings of this table tossing pandemic is a necessary evaluation of these old models.  MOPS is just one of countless programs, ministries, and churches who have been forced to face the reality that while we preached that we were open and inviting to all, that was not the reality. We relied on a model that worked for some, but clearly not all. Stay at home orders, masks, restrictions on numbers, the closing of buildings, and the inability to have childcare have laid bare the truth of whatever foundations we were built on.  For those with strong foundations of faith, hope, Biblical truth, community and connection, the foundation holds. But we cannot simply wait this pandemic out and pray that we can reinstate the old model once everyone is vaccinated and we “go back to normal.” The reality is, normal as we know it is forever changed  - we must evolve or we will not survive. 

In my November MOPS Cohorts, I challenged our leaders to think differently. Not because they necessarily want to, but because they have to. To attempt to fit our old model into this new world is a recipe for frustration and failure. It simply does not work anymore. This pandemic has stripped away all those extras things that were beautiful and fun, but not essential to the core values and goal of MOPS.  Groups who relied too heavily on those fancy and tempting distractions have been exposed as hollow social clubs or Christian women support groups. Their membership numbers have tanked, interaction has dwindled, and their future is in jeopardy.  But those who maintained focus as an outreach ministry, those who prioritized connection and meaningful friendships continue to thrive, even in these hard times. By staying focused on their foundational goal of meaningful connection and reaching more moms, they got creative and were willing to let go of the old ways if they got in the way of reaching more moms.

Here’s the bottom line: If we believe that God loves ALL moms and desires for them to know Him-  If we believe that the goal of MOPS is to create opportunities to moms to meet Jesus - If we believe that MOPS is for ALL moms - then when we look out at our groups and we see that not ALL moms are there, that should bother us. That should tear us up inside. That should make us toss and turn at night, trying to identify who is not there and how we can invite them in. If that doesn’t bother us, it’s time to step aside and let someone else lead who feels that driving passion within them.

Here’s what I know - moms are desiring connection and hope now more than ever. The studies are clear, the pandemic burden has fallen disproportionally on mothers. If moms needed hope and encouragement before, then now things are getting crazy. Moms are desperate. They are isolated. They are overwhelmed. They are tired. They want more than anything for another women to come alongside her and say “I’m here with you.” Not to try to fix anything, just to be a friend.  And the pandemic has exposed which MOPS groups are seeing this need and rising up to meet it. 

This is the year to throw out the playbook. This is the year to take all the old ways of “doing MOPS” or any other kind of ministry and chuck them out the window.  They only kind of worked before, they don’t work in this COVID world, and they may never work again. Don’t waste time attempting to wait this out. People are hurting. Moms need MOPS. Gather all your crazy ideas and throw them all against the wall and see what sticks. Try them all. If they all fail, who cares?? What’s the worst that could happen, you end up right back where you started??  I don’t know what will work in your community, in your group, but we must do something different! We must reach out in new ways, to new moms, in new places or we will not survive. Night groups, home groups, virtual groups. Inviting in new ways. Proactively looking for ways to get EVERY mom in our community connected and involved.  This is not the year to circle the wagons and care only for those who were already in our circle. The situation is too dire, the need is too high. We must swing the doors wide and invite EVERYONE in. We need each other. This is the new normal.