Your story in snippets and phrases
I’m tired of being lectured, preached at, or taught. Your presentation is boring. Your slides have too many words on it. I don’t want to review your list or scan your handout. After a long back-half of 2020, I don’t have time anymore for empty words or half-hearted attempts at information sharing. Here’s what I do want: authentic and meaningful connection. I want you to share something of yourself and in reply, I will share something of myself. We will connect over the shared experiences where we have the opportunity to say “Me too!” but also differences in how we live our lives that gives us both a moment to ponder a new way of looking at and interacting with the world and with God.
This is what I’ve always wanted, but I think until this year, my tolerance for anything other than this was simply a lot higher. I was polite and friendly and nodded at the appropriate time when speakers said all the right words. I extended grace when a prepared message went off track, when it was clearly manipulated for emotional effect or manufactured to make a point. This pandemic and the challenges we have faced together have stripped all of that away. I just don’t have the time or the energy or the tolerance anymore. If you want to reach me, you need to open up. You need to share something of yourself. I want an authentic exchange of ideas and life experience - no matter how messy or ugly or gritty it gets. I think this is what we all want right now in order to make it worth our attention. I think this is what we all need right now in a world where authentic connection feels scarce.
This month in our leader Cohort meetings we’re talking about the power of sharing your story in the context of a small group setting or even one-on-one. This month I’m not interested in those brave enough to stand up front and share for 30 minutes; reading a prepared written statement while we all dab our eyes at the appropriate time. There is a time and place for that kind of planned, structured message and they are impactful in the right setting. But what I’m challenging leaders to do this month is to share their story in bits and pieces, in snippets and phrases. I want them to recognize that most people will not learn about us, connect with us, or be challenged or encouraged by us in one long sitting. The bridge is built, the connection is strengthened, the encouragement is received one small brick, one tiny thread, one little drip at a time. It takes place over days, weeks, and months of conversation. It happens in person, via text and on social media. It happens with laughter and with tears. It happens when a person is brave enough, bold enough, and confident enough to put a little bit of themselves out there EVERY TIME. In every conversation. In every interaction. In every topic.
This is hard because in order to share deeply about yourself, you actually have to know yourself. You have to not just experience life, but take the time to reflect on those experiences. Why did that happen? How did it happen? How did my faith affect my perspective, attitude or reaction? Where did God step in? Did I actually invite God into this experience at all or take the time to see how He worked in it? These are hard questions and can’t be fully thought through in the moment or during a commercial break. They take time to ponder and the intentionality to find the time in your schedule and the emotional energy to do so. Most people don’t do it. This is why, when you have a conversation with someone who has done the work and is ready to share, it’s so impactful and almost stunning.
When I think of the most meaningful and life-changing interactions I’ve had with people in my life, most of what sticks with me is not paragraphs of memorized Scripture or long testimonies read back to me. It is quick phrases that sparked something in me. It’s thoughtful responses that gave me pause and challenged me to think differently. It’s well-timed questions that forced me to dig deeper. It’s when friends and strangers shared a piece of themself, a slice of their story, and in doing so, gave me a glimpse of God and myself I hadn’t seen before.
This is what I want for myself in my interactions with others, but it is also what I want to be for others. When we say goodbye or log-off of zoom, I want those I speak with to feel different, whether that is in holy challenge or daily encouragement. I want people to have an opportunity to see God through me, even if it is a dim reflection of His true glory. I don’t want to be a preacher. I don’t want to be a teacher. Lord, keep me from being a long-winded lecturer. Make me a woman unafraid to reflect and ask herself hard questions, and then bold enough to share what she has learned. Make me someone who looks for opportunities to share her story, in bits and pieces, in snippets and phrases, that leave a breadcrumb trail to You.
